Mad Thoughts of A Writer











{October 26, 2008}   Imabel Kaisha 9

I am more than any haiku could see

I am more than any sonnet could ever be

I am nothing but mere words without you

I am everything but perfect with you

I’m always at best near you

but a jack*ss when alone with you

You turn me on, you turn me off

can’t you see you got me?

Whenever we’re together, I’m ecstatic

But a saddo when you go

I love your company with every word you say

But hate the time when it pass by

You’re a rain in every sunny day

You always ask if we are good

even though you know we’re not

but I still love you, deep inside



{October 26, 2008}   Imabel Kaisha 8

Covering with make up,

hoping the tears would stop.

Let my hair blind my eyes,

hoping it would take the lies.

‘Won’t let the mascara blacken my heart.

Fill my face with powder, and hide pains,

pout my lips and put some red lipstick,

to cover my bleeding heart.

Will the powder cover the pain?

Will the gloss keep the lies?

This is driving me insane.

How will I move on?

Make up should make us beautiful,

but instead it made me feel alone.

Lip gloss, lip balm, lip stick: why do we have choices?

While in love, we only have one heart that barely chooses.



{October 24, 2008}   Imabel Kaisha 7

I turned to look behind.

I see you forcing yourself not to cry.

I turned and look at you after some time.

I saw you turned to a beast before my very eye.

 

It scares me to lookat you

even more because I know

I am the one who turned you into

the beast that breaks my heart in two.

 

My head says I need to go,

but my heart says don’t.

I want to stay here,

but our love’s forbidden.

 

I want to be with you forever,

even though I know it’s impossible.

Loving you is like I’m in hell,

’cause you burn my heart.



{October 24, 2008}   Imabel Kaisha 6

I needed my heart to mend

and you had your shoulder to lend.

I wanted time to be left alone

But I needed someone, that, you had known.

 

I needed a helping hand,

you reached out, and touched my hand.

You saw me at my worst.

You said seeing me fall makes you hurt.

 

You said it will all pass.

You helped me stand again.

With you by my side,

I think I can face it now.

 

Facing challenges with you,

makes me feel so new.

I’m happy with you here

when my heart was in tears.



{October 24, 2008}   Imabel Kaisha 5

I try to pretend I’m fine

but when you read between the line,

you’ll see how down I am now,

and my head, I bow.

 

My earth outside

they think I’m fine,

but my world inside

it’s falling apart.

 

Some people ask if I’m alright,

I just say things

that are not really true

’cause I don’t know who to talk to.

 

I’m so sarcastic

but I’m still optimistic.

After all this suffering,

I can now do everything.



{October 24, 2008}   Unloaded Burden

You were always there to help me look up

whenever I am about to fall down.

You give me a reason to suddenly stop,

paint a sincere smile and remove my frown.

I recall the time when I was alone.

You made me feel how much you really care.

I didn’t notice how much I’ve grown,

since you helped me with the burdens I bear.

Thank you for everything that you provide.

Now please listen to what I say.

This promise that I leave, it will abide,

as long as I can, I’ll be here to stay.

I’ll always be thankful and will love you,

the day you entered my life, that I knew.



{October 24, 2008}   Life of a Goth

I wear this mask

so that no one may ask.

Cover my face with hair,

so that no one will dare.

 

I walk alone in the dark,

so that no one will see the mark,

the mark in my heart;

the proof that it fell apart.

 

I converse on my own,

so that my fragility will be as a stone.

A stone that wouldn’t break,

a stone that nobody will take.

 

One day, or so I think,

I will change with a single blink,

move out of terror,

and be able to look in the mirror.



{October 24, 2008}   Imabel Kaisha 4

When was the last time I smiled like this?

When was the last moment I laughed this way?

This part of me is what I miss.

The part of me that was gone when you went away.

 

I never thought I could get up.

I was soaked in this rain of teardrops.

But look at me now,

I’m shinier than your girl “sunshine”.

 

Now that I moved one

Please don’t bother to go

anywhere near me

’cause I like it this way.

 

First I thought I can’t do it.

I was scared to leave you.

But now I know,

I can live happily without you.



{October 24, 2008}   Sentimental

Give me what I’m desperate for

Give me the part that you tore

I hate to see you go

but you wouldn’t, that I know

Leave me with nothing to hold on to

but my hopes that are longing for you

Before you walk away

I love you, that what I want to say



{October 24, 2008}   Emo?

Fragile glass of heart

Painful sorrows of time

These I felt when we’re apart

These I can recover, but never forget

 

Time heals all wounds

Time copes with what we lose

Give me time and I will mourn

but tomorrow, I’ll cry no more



et cetera